The Royal Scam

first_imgI don’t know how you get to quit the family, but it would have been fun if we had that option.“Son, you better get out of bed or you’ll be late for school,” Mom would say.“I’m not going to school.”“You have to.“No, I don’t. I quit.”“School?”“No, the family.”This is what the Duke and Duchess of Sussex did last month, informing the Queen of England they will stop using their “Royal Highness” monikers and stop working for the family.First of all, it takes more than a title to be in the royal family. I had a friend from Queens whom we used to call “His Royal Highness” and he didn’t have even a hint of a cockney accent.And I don’t think it’s so easy to quit the family, either. Just ask Frankie (The Barber) Langelli, or what’s left of him. He was through with the Genovese family, but the Genovese family wasn’t through with him — if you get my meaning.Still, using the HRH title and carrying out the royal “duties” can be pretty lucrative.Here is a look at the family tree:Queen Elizabeth, 93, is at the head of the family. She is married to Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh, who appears to have died somewhere around 1742.Forget him, though (we already have). The line of succession goes through the Queen’s side of the family only. Philip’s (who?) family gets squat.Next in line, of course, is the Prince of Wales, Charles, who looks like he was passed down through the Northern Dancer line. Then, there is his eldest son, William, Duke of Cambridge, a balding sort like his dad and then his son, Prince George of Cambridge, age seven.The one to watch out for is the kid’s sister.Charlotte Elizabeth Diana, age five, is fourth in line to the throne and is known as Her Royal Highness Princess Charlotte of Cambridge. I say within a decade this little brat will have her brother’s head on a stake and will be riding a dragon around.Who do you NOT see on the list so far? You got it, poor Harry. My friend in Queens has a better shot at the throne.Prince Harry is sixth in line to the throne. During his 10 years in the Armed Forces, Capt. Wales, as he became known, saw active service in Afghanistan as an Apache helicopter co-pilot and gunner. He left the Army in 2015 and now focuses on charitable work, including conservation in Africa and organizing the Invictus Games for injured members of the armed forces. He married U.S. actress Meghan Markle on May 19, 2018, at Windsor Castle.No one is saying as much, but “U.S. actress” raises a red flag. I imagine to the Queen it’s kind of akin to “Pole Dancer” — that is, not royal family fodder. Put another way, royalty is not expected to actually work for a living.According to Forbes, the Royal Family is collectively worth about $88 billion. The Queen has about a half-billion a year to spend. I don’t see her out much. Taxpayers issue a “sovereign grant” to pay the annual expenses of family members. Last year, it was $104 million (of that, half went to hair loss prevention products and apparently a large sum went to Charles’s ugly pills).The real dough is the private art, jewelry, and land held by the royal family, and private entities that provide income for royal family members like the Duchy of Lancaster, the Duchy of Cornwall, and the Duchy of Water and Vinegar.Meghan Markle is probably the brains behind the revolt. I mean, she’ll never get the big chair at the royal family dinner. There will have to be a pox or scourge upon the House of Windsor before Harry leapfrogs the others and becomes king-in-waiting.So anyhow, back to me. The reason why I am quitting the family is I’m unhappy with my Sovereign Grant. When I was five, I received 15 cents a week allowance, which eventually rose (after contentious debate in the state assembly and senate) to 25, 50 cents, and even a dollar a week. They gave Burger King workers more — go figure.There is the matter of my title. If I do quit the family, will I have to forfeit it? I’m not sure what it is now, but I kind of like “The Duchess of Dochy.” I could be a viscount and then I could open “Rick’s Viscount Appliance Stores” and hire pole dancers at the grand opening.By the way, the highest rankings are duke/duchess, earl/countess, viscount/viscountess, and baron/baroness. All other ranks of the peerage have the appellation Lord or Lady meaning everyone gets a title so it’s OK to say “Hey lady, can I get a Whopper and large fries?” or “Oh, my lord, your hair is falling out in clumps.”Though I no longer consider myself a member of the House of Forcucci/Murphy, I will continue to collect my stipend and for the moment and use the title “Marquis” in case anyone wants to get [email protected] Sharelast_img read more

Ginebra Kings set up Govs’ Cup semifinal face-off with Hotshots

first_imgBarangay Ginebra San Miguel Kings’ Japeth Aguilar throws down a two-handed dunk against NLEX Road Warriors. PBA MANILA – Barangay Ginebra San Miguel Kings and Magnolia Hotshots set up a thrilling 2018 PBA Governor’s Cup semifinal face-off after disposing of their quarterfinals opponents on Tuesday night at the Smart Araneta Coliseum.The Kings walloped NLEX Road Warriors 111-75 while the Hotshots had to battle back from a fourth quarter deficit to beat Blackwater Elite 103-99.Ginebra, the defending champions, had a strong start despite a subpar showing from Justin Brownlee, with Japeth Aguilar and Greg Slaughter anchoring the offense for a 50-36 halftime edge.The Road Warriors were a threat in the third period, coming to as close as 4 points, but the Kings countered with a run behind Slaughter, Aguilar and Solomon Mercado to widen their lead to 36 points. Aguilar led the way with double-double 18 points and 10 rebounds, Slaughter added 16 markers, while Brownlee compensated for his poor shooting with a triple-double 13 points, 10 rebounds and 10 assists for the Kings.The Hotshots, on the other hand, failed to hang on to their advantage in the first quarter and fell behind by as much as 84-91 midway in the fourth quarter after a layup by the Elite’s Henry Walker.Magnolia went on a huge run behind Rafael Reavis, Romeo Travis and Andy Mark Barroca to take a 95-94 lead. Blackwater regained the edge 96-95 but the Hotshots answered with 5 straight points from Ian Sangalang and Jio Jalalon for a 100-96 lead.The Elite made their last push 99-100 on a trey by Paul Zamar and had a chance to take the lead down 99-101 on a triple try by Nard John Pinto before the Hotshots sealed the win with two Paul Lee free throws.Lee finished with double-double 22 points and 11 rebounds, while Travis had triple-double 18 points, 20 rebounds and 12 assists for the Hotshots. Walker top-scored with 18 markers for the Elite./PNlast_img read more